Muddy Boots-

So, I got new “rain boots” for Christmas, which I never intended to really use for that purpose especially with the unseasonably warm winter we’ve been having here in south Texas. They’re cute and red. Kyle on the other hand got Jordans. Little did I know just how much they’d come in handy. We took a trip to Austin with my mom and brother, had a picnic lunch inside our car because we didn’t feel the need to lose fingers and toes while eating our roast beef sandwiches, toured the capital building and did everything we possibly could fit into the little time we had. Which included a little out of the way drive to the self proclaimed “best bbq in Texas”, Salt Lick. By the time we were done eating it had started hailing and pouring rain. I was thrilled to have this experience to splash my victims- I mean family with muddy tin roof recycled rain water. Salt Lick is in a very small town and obviously the main attraction. Only a couple roads in and out. We started down the interstate with the quickest route home only to be stuck in a double yellow one lane each way traffic at a stand still. This is when I start to think I should’ve splashed my family less and prioritized going to the bathroom before getting in the car for the long car ride more. Thankfully, my little brother has an equal amount of common sense as me so I wasn’t the only one bitching about needing to urinate. We have been in the parked position for at least thirty minutes when I’m guessing the insistent complaining got to my family and I was told to squat in front of the car, which I did not. Obviously, the car in front of us could have a back up camera and I wasn’t about to give a show for free (or at all). My next best option was to go in the bushes on the side of the road, because the car was not about to start moving. But seeing as the houses out here in the middle of nowhere were huge and somewhat close to the road that didn’t seem pheesable either. When suggested, I reiderated that with my luck I would get in the bushes just to be attacked by a guard dog and people who don’t call 911. I would of course then come running back to our car with my pants around my ankles begging to be spared from the five pound chihuahua “guard dog” that would be attached to my rain boot. No, I think I rather wait. My brother suggested we bill the cops who we had no idea what was going on with, the emergency room bill for our exploded bladders in the event that the car never move again. FINALLY. The cars start moving again. One lanes blocked off for what looks like an awful accident they take turns letting lanes go. We get past the wreck, which made our bladders feel like less of a problem, to only get a mile before we see more cops on the other side of a Mother Nature arranged river that is going right through our number one way home. Evidently there was a miscommunication or no communication between the cops and we should’ve turned around instead of waiting that whole time (yay). We turn around just to wait again because like I said, only one lane gets to go at a time. Still having to pee we make it back to the restaurant and reevaluate our new way home, better yet Kyle figures that out while I book it to the port a potty. 

When I get back to the car he had a new route figured out (which is usually my job as shot gun) and we start driving again, this time in the opposite and more time consuming direction. It isn’t long before my premise of Kyle being geographically uninclined is brought full circle. He blames the GPS. Which of course is a crowd pleaser (because all our disagreements are on a world debate platform, tune in on Tuesdays 7/8C). 

“People have a deep mistrust of machinery. Have you seen Terminator? Or 2? Or 3”-Nick on The Internship

So, the gps says, “turn right” doesn’t say when or where to turn but Kyle took that as “now!” And before we know it we are on a “dirt road” which the rain has made into more of a mud road. I’m sure you can see where this is leading. All the sudden the tires are spinning. We are stuck. I was previously on my phone and looked up and around only to determine immediately, from the back seat I may add, that we were in fact not on a dirt road at all but in the literal backyard of a CVS pharmacy. We were so close to that back parking lot, but the rain had caused all the dirt to travel downhill making a mountain of mud against the perfectly square curb to which our tire was wedged behind. I, almost instinctually, looked up at my mom and said “let’s push.” Keeping in mind I have NEVER done this before. I get out of the car. Hesitantly, my brother and mom follow me. The mud is above my ankles so my family who has worn less sensible shoes take the outter edges of the car. Kyle who wore his brand new Jordan’s gets to stay as driver in the warm, clean car. I’m not really complaining though because I’ve always loved to play in the dirt or mud rather. So, we are pushing down and foreword because the front tire is wedged down and Kyle is trying his best to listen to what we are saying. 

“Neutral”

“Reverse, but only for a second”

“Drive”

And repeat. 

Me, being the least supportive (CVS’ backyard? Really?) and most glass half full kinda person I am histarically laughing. My mom and brother are used to being with my dad, who would not find the humor in this, so they are just looking strangely at me. I have lived with Kyle long enough (for those who don’t know him- Kyle is extremely easygoing) to see the humor in everything. This wasn’t the end of the world, all else fails Kyle would come push in his bare feet as far as I was concerned. I finally gathered myself up, because I was laughing while we were pushing, and we all gave another more serious push and finally we got back to dryer land. Nearly falling on our faces in the final push, we all had a good chance to laugh. As payment for doing the dirty, yet fun, work Kyle was sweet enough to carry me back to my seat after I ditched my clumpy muddy boots in the trunk. 

Advertisements

Resolutions. 

With the new year starting tomorrow I’ve been seeing a lot of New Years resolutions and people saying to be more realistic and choose things that will actually happen ect. But is it really such a bad thing to want to better ones self? I know that some resolutions don’t come true but it isn’t because it’s impossible per say, it’s because people don’t want the change bad enough to do anything about it. It’s easier just to stay the way we are, it’s easier to not ever work out, stay in debt and to stay at the same old job, same old house and have the same old life. Now I’m no where near a motivational speaker but, I haven’t had the easiest of lives so I know that change is hard and doesn’t come to those who wait. That six letter word is intimidating no matter if you’re talking about it on New Year’s Day or any other day of the year. It’s crazy to think that day to day it doesn’t seem like anything changes but you look back on how things were and how you were at the beginning of the year and everything feels different. With that being said, fast foreword to New Year’s Eve 2016, do you honestly want to be in the exactly same place you are right now?

Personally, I don’t. I’ve come along way and I’m not the same person I was in cosmetology school last year nor the person I was in high school and if you had known me in middle school you wouldn’t believe how far I’ve come since then. It isn’t that I’ve even changed so much as it’s just that I’ve grown. I grew up and just because I’m out in the adult world now doesn’t mean there isn’t still room to fix myself into a better person and a better wife, friend and daughter.

Next year I don’t know where we’ll be. I know we’ll be in Germany but the rest is pretty much up to my imagination and that’s mostly made out of pictures I’ve seen on the Internet. It’s exciting to think I could reinvent myself. Be who I want to be and everything I want to be and in Tim McGraw’s words “be a friend, a friend would like to have.” I’d also like to be more organized, read all the books I buy and stop stressing out about moving across the pond, because man is that stressful.

I’m not saying you have to be over ambitious and self loathing to the person you are today, I’m not saying that at all. Just be open to growing into a little bit better version of yourself.

Last Christmas-

As we finish yet another Christmas as mister & misses, we reflect on the Christmas’ before and the years that past to look back on how much everything has changed. This time last year we decided to do an east coast road trip. We flew into Connecticut, took a taxi into Vermont and stayed at a ski resort for a couple days, while there we literally almost died of boredom (not much to Vermont) and being the holiday season it seemed as if everything was closed, including everything at the “all inclusive resort” so joke was on us, we had a brick for a bed and microwave dollar store food for meals and the oldest selection (not old as in retro or glory day films but just old) of DVDs to rent from the front desk. The longest four or five days of our lives. We then rented a car to drive through New Hampshire and down into Massachusetts.

image

The ski slopes in Vermont

image

Boston harbor

It was so beautiful, ice and snow everywhere. Cold crisp air & large emptied trees. We stayed in Boston for a few more days. We hit all the hot spots, the cheers bar downtown, Fenway park, Boston harbor and the Christmas markets. It was so much fun I wish we were there the whole time rather then Vermont. We had endless amounts of things to do. We took a day and drove up to Salem and visited the witch trial museums; which was so much more interesting then you read about in textbooks. Finally, we drove the last haul into New York City. Seeing along the way, Rhode Island & more of Connecticut.

Finally, we spent the most glorious of days in the city. It was everything I wanted and more. I had been bore but it was Kyles first time. We went everywhere and took it all in as much as we could, walked thousands of steps and at least a hundred miles. The cherry on top was ice skating in Rockefeller rink on Christmas Day.

image

By the Rockefeller tree

image

The view from Empire State Building 

image

Rockefeller Rink

imageI wish we could do it all again. This year we spent in San Antonio, it was actually the first time in the three years we’ve lived here that we actually celebrated in the city. My family came and we did all the traditional things that families do, we made cookies and watched the grinch. We saw the lights in Santas’ ranch and at the riverwalk. It’s crazy to think that it’s the first and the last time we will celebrate in San Antonio, as we will be in Germany next year. Yet, I can’t wait to see where this amazing journey takes us.

Darth Santa

Have you ever done something all for nothing? Not intentionally, Kyle and I spent our whole Saturday waiting in line to see “Dark Santa” which in all actuality was a sweaty bald guy in a Darth Vader costume with a over sized stocking on his head and an almost dead light saber and it was all for nothing. We had the joyous pleasure of standing in front of a very loud and very rowdy and completely wasted couple. Yelling and haggling the security guard, a term I loosely apply to her. Listening to crying kids, we kept asking ourselves what we were doing there. Wondering how long is too long to wait and if we left under an hour would it really be that bad to wait and see. Safe to say next time we can just cut out loses. Three plus hours and ten dollars later we had a not so perfect Christmas picture with Dark Santa but I’m really only complaining because my feet really hurt. The picture was okay, we were starving and went to get lunchner (lunch-dinner) at Denny’s. It was raining and we didn’t have a frame or anything to keep the picture protected and since I didn’t want it to get ruined in my purse I just held onto it. When we were on our way home we stopped at the mailboxes and Kyle handed me the catalogs, I looked through them and on the way up to protect the picture from the rain I stuck it into the middle of the Kohls catalog. At the time it didn’t seem like a big deal, it just seemed like the best solution. Seemed like it at the time anyway. My husband the helpful man he is decided on Sunday night that he would clear out the mail and catalogs on the kitchen island, which included the Kohls catalog. He didn’t realize that I had stuck the picture in there and threw it away! I didn’t think anything of it until today when I saw other Christmas cards and started looking for it to no avail. So, three hours, sore feet, ten bucks and a headache later we have absolutely wasted a Saturday with nothing to show for it except for what my husband says is “a good story”. Such a good story in fact that I almost left out the best part- my husband to cheer me up actually came home from work without hesitation grabbed a knife out of the drawer, looked at our trash bags under the sink, went down the stairs, mission oriented as if he were Bilbo on a quest to find the ring. Clumsily yet ninja like hopped into the dumpster, pulls out said knife and starts cutting open bags with the same trash ties and pulling everything out. None of those bags were ours, no catalogs were found and now we surely have nothing left but a good story. 

Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness

I hope everyone had a blessed and amazing thanksgiving day, I just wanted to take some time to write what my family is thankful for. About a week before turkey day as we were packing our things to head back to the Grand Canyon state for the holiday, my husband received an email on his phone while eating dinner. My friend Alex was helping me pack and by that I mean we were drinking wine and watching pretty little liars when Kyle came racing out to us and handed me his phone. I read the first line and all but jumped with joy like a reflex. We got orders! In the military it’s called a “PCS” permanate change of station which means we are moving! I cannot even begin to describe how great of news this is to us! God bless San Antonio but it is really, really not the place for us and I could go on and on with the pros and cons of the lone star state with you but I won’t. I really don’t mean any disrespect but let me just say, we are excited! Now at first we did not know where we were going to. The email was very vague. So, since we were leaving before Kyle was due back at work, he put on his slippers and went to work to find out and do the basic processing and I don’t know what else. Now at this point Alex is already crying. Alex, if your reading this I’m sorry but it’s like the best part of the story. She fills up her wine glass to the top and just starts saying how I can’t leave her, she’ll miss me so much ect. We wait for what seems like forever before Kyle comes in. I can see right away that he is happy but trying to hide it. Being the mean person he is he try’s to bluff but his poker face is not quite up to par with my ability to see right through him, in the most endearing way possible, of course. He hands me the paper and I’m freaking out, “where do I look? What am I supposed to read?” He points and I immediately jump into his arms, Alex simultaneously punched him and Kyle and I fall back into the refrigerator together. So happy that we didn’t even think about how much it hurt. Germany. The paper said Germany. We would be starting our new life together in the late spring of 2016. Might I add, that’s when my birthday is. Alex is very unhappy with this news and about six wine glasses later she is crying of course and telling me how happy she is for us and how deserving we are but also how she isn’t ready for this and how we needed more time together and some of the most off the wall things I didn’t see coming, my personal favorite being:

We took the holiday to tell everyone we possibly could tell in person, mostly our parents and grandparents and other extended family. We should’ve maybe led with that we were moving and not the vague “we have big news, please meet up with us” because everyone and I mean EVERYONE thought I was pregnant. Which will be big news some day but not at this moment. At least, I know when I tell them how they’ll react because mostly everyone was disappointed when I said I wasn’t.

Chopped Salad

Have you ever wanted to eat healthy but just cannot despite your best efforts actually be that person? I wish I could snap my fingers and automatically not like deserts and snack food and God forbid I never liked fried chicken. My life would be worlds easier if I didn’t love me some fried chicken. So, if you came to read this to get inspired to eat healthy and order salads, let me tell you right now that you came to the wrong place.
But, there was this one time; I ordered a fricken salad.
It’s date night and we go to 54th street grill. It was impromptu but me and Kyle were both having, for the lack of a better word, a shitty day. Obviously, when I have that sort of awful bite your nails, crush cans with your fists (not really), cry at the sight of romantic comedy characters perfect fake life sort of days I crave the grills waffle fry and casa blanca queso (I always mess up its proper title). Obviously. So we’re there and suddenly I have a change of heart. I feel crummy and in a moment of weakness I think to myself that a salad would make me feel better. I’m crazy, I know. Why in my right mind I would ever consider vegetables more soothing then the saturated happiness that is deep fried goodness of anything? Beats me. Honestly, I can’t be the only one who thinks carbs are much easier to eat then cut out. So it’s been ordered and I immediately have a change of heart, of course now that I’ve ordered the waitress is no where to be found. I don’t know what I’d get instead..

Breaded chicken on more bread?
Burger with that stuff they now says causes cancer (bacon)?

IMG_1366
Anyway, I see the food runner there and she is holding my salad, which by the way is a buffalo chicken salad without the normal Bleu cheese it’s served with and two types of ranch cause I’m indecisive, and of course I can’t tell the food runner I changed my mind cause she doesn’t know the extent of the conversation I just had with myself. So, I eat it. The bowl of green unhappiness is admittedly not comfort food but it was actually so good. I’ve never been more pleased with the inevitably bad timing of my social awkwardness meets anxiety cocktail.

Which brings me to this anecdote, a teacher once told me that America isn’t a melting pot (stay with me) because in a baked good like cake where all the ingredients melt together you don’t eat cake and say “wow I love that baking soda” or “you can really taste the egg” no you like the cake as a whole and culturally America isn’t like that. We don’t melt together and become one culture. We are more of a chopped salad, the tomato, the chicken, the ranch, Bleu cheese if you fancy it, are all different flavors you can appreciate individually and all collectively they make America. We have different cultures that are all unique in their own ways and are individually tasty and when you put them all together you have a fabulous chopped salad. Kind of a cool way to think about it yes?IMG_1367

iSpy Ms. Doubtfire’s Tsunami 

image imageEvery once in a while it’s nice to change things up. It’d been far over a year of everything in our open concept living room being the same way when I decided to move my world upside down. Without warning my husband came home to everything I could humanly move on my own in a different place. It was hard to do considering the open concept and the narrowish area I had to work with but it was liberating. I mean the things you find after a good cleaning and ripping the couch apart session. I know I’m not the only one that finds all sorts of goodies cause I swear I’m not a slob nor was I raised in a barn, ask my mother. But don’t ask my father because growing up he swore a tsunami would hit my bed room when in actually I just could decide what to wear that particular day. Girls will know the struggle is really real. I’m not exactly OCD in the cleaning department either but that’s not the point. I went Ms. Doubtfire style on my living room,{http://youtu.be/xuqYNx8zaXM}

I’ll spare the hairy details but there was definitely singing and vacuum spinning involved. Had to literally lock my dogs up because they thought it was killing me, although anything with wheels often gives them that impression. I found a bounty of things, admittedly not enough to open my own bohemian second hand store or make my own iSpy book but perhaps that’s a good thing.

Among my bounty was 7 orphaned socks (I could be exaggerating)

1 2014 Christmas card stamped and everything (need to call my cousins and let them know I didn’t forget about them)

4 pennies (yay)

1 screw (hazard avoided)

Sand (don’t ask how it got there cause I have yet to figure that out)

2 balls (Biscotti previously thought they had been literally swallowed into thin air)

Now that everything is spiffed up I’m all ready for the Christmas tree, which if I have anything to do with it, will go up before (I know God forbid) Thanksgiving. Cue the gasping. imageimage